Red Dwarf Season One, Episode One

Red Dwarf stands as something of a rarity: a show that is set in space but is essentially a comedy series, while at the same time taking an (almost) serious approach to science-fiction. I don't know of any series, before or even since, that has so successfully melded the two genres into something which is so much more than the sum of its parts. Almost unique, it's certainly never been bettered, and unless you count Douglas Adams' Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, nothing has even tried. And it's not because the concept was shown to be flawed, was unsuccessful or failed at what it attempted, as Red Dwarf has gone down as both a cult sci-fi series and a cult comedy series, though in fairness the balance does tend to be heavily on the latter.

Because of its uniqueness then, it's hard to judge it, as there's no yardstick against which to measure. Most sci-fi series can be compared to the greats, like Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica, or Babylon 5 even, which generally take themselves very seriously (sometimes too much so), while there are certainly hundreds of classic comedies you can put up against any newcomer to see if they measure up. But no show has ever straddled both genres so successfully, or indeed ever, and managed not to piss off the fans of either side. Spaced comes closest, probably, but even then that's not a sci-fi series, just references popular geek culture. Red Dwarf is set in space, on a spaceship, and though the writers were proud to proclaim that the crew never met any aliens (which they didn't, through frankly amazingly inventive storylines) or used lasers or phasers, they manage to have the same kind of adventures as Captain Picard or Buck Rogers, albeit usually with a hilarious twist.

At its core, Red Dwarf is a story about characters, indeed one man, Dave Lister, the last human left alive. As the series gets going he surrounds himself with, well, let's not call them friends, eh? He wouldn't accept that. Let's just say they're, um, people he met. If you know the series that line will carry a little more weight than it would otherwise. Through a series of unlikely mishaps, Lister has ended up three million years in the future and light-years away from Earth, and must assume that by now either the planet is toast ( Did somebody ask for toast? Another in-joke for those who know...) or at least that Man has died off or destroyed himself. His only companions, as the terrible truth begins to sink in about his isolation and what he can look forward to, are 1) a hologrammatic simulation of perhaps the man he would least have wanted to spend the rest of his life with, 2) a creature which was once a cat but has, over millions of years, evolved into a humanoid being, though still with the intrinsic characteristics of the household moggy and who, with trademark deadpan humour and lack of inspiration Lister names Cat, and 3) the ship's computer.

Clear so far? Well perhaps you'll begin to understand better as the series develops. Being a typical BBC programme, Red Dwarf ran in six-episode seasons, or series, and in total existed for ten seasons. But first, the cast:

Dave Lister, Technician Third Class, played by Craig Charles

Arnold Judas Rimmer, Technician Second Class, played by Chris Barrie

The Cat, played by Danny-John Jules

Holly, the ship's computer, seventh-generation A1, played by Norman Lovett

Season 1: Three million years from Earth...

Episode 1: The End

It's typical of the sort of humour we would see in this series that the first episode is titled "The end", though in many ways it is. The end of Lister's old life, the end of the crew, the end of Earth. In many more ways, of course, it's the beginning. We meet Lister and Rimmer, two lowly technicians aboard the Jupiter Mining Corporation ship "Red Dwarf", whose mission is to mine planets for minerals. Lister and Rimmer have a very important role onboard the ship: they must ensure that never, on any occasion and under any circumstances, do the chicken soup vending machines run out. Rimmer is a Technician Second Class, and so slightly above Lister in the pecking order, and he makes sure to pull rank on him every time he can. Lister, a lazy, bored, layabout who would much rather be back in his quarters knocking back cans of beer and eating five-alarm curries, is distinctly unimpressed by his "superior", and never misses a chance to wind him up.

After a particularly heated exchange during which Rimmer puts Lister on report (for about the 8,000th time) Dave is summoned to the captain's office, where it is put to him that he has a cat which he has smuggled onboard. When he denies this, Captain Hollister (played in brilliant deadpan mode by the wonderful Mac McDonald) produces a photograph of Lister with the cat. Lister is then told he can hand over the cat or go into stasis, forfeiting a month's pay. Loyal to his pet, Lister chooses imprisonment, and is led to the suspended animation booth, where he is locked in.

A moment later he is released and asks the computer how is it that he has just gone in? Surely a month has not already elapsed? The computer, Holly, does not reply at once but directs him to decontamination procedures, after which Lister asks where everyone is, and is informed by Holly that they are all dead. Shocked, he asks what happened and the computer tells him that a radiation leak developed, killing all the crew but preserving the ship. Lister is now the only human left alive on the ship. Holly tells him he had to wait until the radiation levels had reduced to a safe point before he could let Lister out, and advises him that he was not actually in the booth for a month, but rather longer. Three million years in fact!

Lister is gobsmacked, but even more so when he realises that although he may be the last human alive on the ship, there is someone there who is not alive, and yet, kind of is. Arnold Rimmer, his bunkmate and erstwhile superior, has been brought back to life by Holly as one of the ship's holograms. All members of the crew when signing onboard the ship have their identities, personalities and physical characteristics etched on a tiny microchip, which, in emergency cases, the computer is able to use to effectively bring the person back to life. It's meant to be used in situations where, for instance, the captain has been killed. He can be brought back to life and still run the ship. Or perhaps his voiceprint or handprint is needed to activate or deactivate something, and the regenerated hologram can perform this function.

Left basically in charge of the ship, Holly sees his main role (other than flying and maintaining Red Dwarf) as keeping Lister, as the last representative of humankind, alive and sane. He has deduced that the best person to do this is Rimmer, a notion Lister not surprisingly disagrees with. Rimmer is quick to accuse his subordinate of being responsible for the accident, as the drive plate that blew, thereby causing the radiation leak, was supposed to have been worked on by the two of them, but as Lister was in stasis Rimmer had to attend to it himself, and did not do a very good job. Whether in truth Lister's help would have prevented this disaster is highly debatable, but Rimmer is livid a) that he is dead b) that it was Lister's fault (as he sees it) and finally c) that he has been brought back purely at Lister's behest. Dave is quick to point out that Rimmer is the last person he would want to see, three million years of isolation or not, but before they can get into too much of an argument they are joined by a strange creature...

Having never given up his cat, Lister ensured that the animal lived on and thrived, breeding (although with what we're not told, as it's supposed to have been the only cat onboard!) and raising a whole colony of cats, who over the passage of millennia and without human intervention have now evolved to an upright, homo sapiens creature. They retain the basic mannerisms and idiosyncrasies of the domestic cat though: they drink milk, clean themselves with their tongues, are exceedingly fastidious and highly arrogant and self-centred, and have the quick reflexes of their feline ancestors. Amazed at the creature, Lister calls it Cat and they become friends, in time allies of a sort against Rimmer.

Having come out of a three-million-year sleep, which was supposed to have only lasted one month, and found everyone he cared about dead, the human race in all likelihood extinct and his only real friend a walking, talking descendant of his cat, Lister tells Holly to set a course for Earth, to see if he can make it back home.

And with that, a TV legend is born!

Quotes

Lister and Rimmer in the first scene. Lister is smoking a cigarette. 

Rimmer: "Lister, is that a cigarette?"

Lister: "No, it's a chicken!"

The Cat, on discovering there is a crease in his flash suit, produces a tiny iron and treats it with the exclamation "Whoa! Crease!"

On being released from stasis, Dave is told by Holly that all the crew are dead. The conversation runs like this:

Lister: "So where is everyone, Holly?"

Holly: "They're dead, Dave."

Lister: "What? Peterson?"

Holly: "They're all dead Dave."

Lister: "What? Captain Hollister?"

Holly: "They're all dead Dave."

Lister: "Toddhunter?"

Holly: "Gordon Bennet! Yes, Toddhunter too! They're all dead Dave."

Lister: "Not Rimmer! Rimmer isn't dead, is he?"

Holly: "Yes Dave, Rimmer is dead. They're all dead Dave. Dave they are all dead."

Lister: "Wait a minute Holly. Are you tryin' to tell me everyone is dead?"

Holly: "Should never have let him out!"

Rimmer: "Dead? I've never even been sexually intimate with a woman!"

Lister: "Well, that's because you haven't met the right woman yet, Rimmer."

Rimmer: "No, no I haven't have I Lister? I haven't met the right woman. And some might just say, given the fact that we are three thousand light years into deep space and the human race is extinct, coupled with the fact that I have passed on, some might just say I'm leaving it a teensy bit on the late side!"

Captain Hollister: "Lister, have you got a cat?"

Lister: "No."

Hollister: "Lister, not only are you stupid enough to bring a banned animal on board, but you take a picture of yourself with the cat, and send it to be developed in the ship's labs! Now I ask you one more time, have you got a cat?"

Lister: "No".

Hollister (displaying a photo of a smiling Lister with a black cat in his arms) "Have you got a cat?"

Lister: "Oh yeah, that one. Okay, well, just say I had one --- just say! --- what would you do with Frankenstein?"

Hollister: "I would send it down to the ship's labs and have it cut up and examined."

Lister: "Would you put it back together when you'd finished?"

Hollister: "Lister! The cat would be dead!"

Lister: "So with respect Sir, what's in it for the cat?"

Lister's plan is just hilarious. He and Rimmer are discussing their career options in their quarters, where much of the best banter of the first and second season will take place. Rimmer wants to become an officer, rise up through the ranks, though he has a snowball's chance in Hell of even coming close to this ambition as he can't even pass the flight navigation exam, and he's taken it nine times. Lister, however, is more sanguine.

Lister: "I've got a plan! I'm going to do three more trips, then I'll have enough to buy some land in Fiji."

Rimmer: "Fiji?"

Lister: "Yeah, it's dead cheap."

Rimmer: "Yes Lister, because they had a flood and most of it is three feet underwater!"

Lister: "So? It's only three feet. They can wade. That's why the horses are going to have to be very tall."

Rimmer: "Oh brilliant plan Lister, excellent plan. (Makes swimming motions) Morning farmer Lister! I'm just poppin' down to the shops in my submarine. Can I get you anything? (Snorts) You've got the brain of a cheese sandwich, Lister!"

Just having been released from stasis, Lister is sitting at the com deck, idly fiddling with some pools of what appears to be baking soda. 

Lister: "And what is this stuff? It's all over the place." 

Holly: "That is Catering Officer Olaf Peterson." 

Lister (Jumping back, having been tasting the stuff on his tongue; spits the powder out.): "Urgh! Why didn't you tell me Holly? I've been eating half the crew! And who's this here?" 

Holly: "That is Flight Officer Christine Kochanski." 

Lister:. "Oh hey no. She was part of my plan. I never actually got around to telling her, but she was going to come with me to Fiji. She was going to wear a white dress and ride on the horses." 

Holly: "Well, she won't be any use to you on Fiji now. Not unless it snows and you need something to grit the path with!"